How Resilient Are You?
How Resilient Are You?
Indeed, good question… Is this a test? It must be because daily life certainly does test us, but how do you manage when the big ones hit? Gone through divorce? Job loss? Illness? Financial H bomb?
I’ve just read a very interesting article in the November/December AARP magazine (which is weird because it is already out and it’s only the beginning of October…) entitled, “The Secrets of Resilient People,” by Beth Howard. The article states that resiliency is a hot topic for research these days because Americans have been tested to the max with wars, natural disasters and economic crisis in the last few years – as if that’s anything new! The result of this research has outlined what it takes to be considered one of the resilient illuminati (my term… bit too dramatic, do you think?) See the actual brilliant article and the specifics on the research, please.
But here are some findings – in a nutshell:
Resilient people…
- Stay connected and reach out to others to help them through tough times. They don’t turn their phones off, crawl into bed, and pull the covers over their heads.
- Are optimistic. This is a tough one for a lot of people. Trick is not to fake it and be too happy. Nobody likes a Pollyanna! Try instead to get into the habit of ‘framing the situation in more positive terms’, to use Howard’s words. She uses the following excellent example: when opening your 401K (with or without a martini in hand… my words, not Howard’s)think about changing your investment strategy as opposed to believing you will never be able to recoup your losses.
- Are spiritual. See something outside of themselves…
- Are playful. Act like children sometimes… laugh a lot!
- Give of their time and resources. They volunteer! And at the least, they go through their cupboards/closets on a regular basis and think what they can give to those in need. Take the focus off of themselves sometimes!
- Pick their battles. They focus on what they can change instead of wallowing in what they cannot. The whingers and the whiners pull their own energy drain plugs.
- Stay healthy. They eat well and exercise – it’s all about brain chemistry folks!
- Find the silver lining. This one is a challenge for some, for sure! When you feel so down it is quite difficult to see what good might come out of the situation, but while in the midst of it look around. Can you see how the event(s) is/are enabling you to become a better person or maybe change your mind about something?
Here is a nifty little test you can give yourself to see how resilient you are. I’ve taken some of the ideas from the article and the book they quote, ‘The Resiliency Advantage’, by Al Siebert, PhD. But the rest are mine. How many of these can you put a check-mark next to?
√ I am usually positive. That means I rarely experience road-rage, clean up after my dog with a smile and collect the mail with a sense of happy expectation instead of ‘bill-dread’.
√ I remain calm and cheerful when people say, “Maybe… but…”, “Absolutely! I will pay you next week…”, or “Of course I can fix it, but it’ll cost ya…”.
√ I am pleased, gracious, and still manage to work when the extended family arrives and is having such a good time they decide to stay the night… then another… then another… and yet another.
√ I laugh out loud when I do something silly and usually can find some humor in situations that are anything but funny.
√ I live, let live, and live and learn.
√ I can find my way around most problems/issues that arise. I have the ability to solve and love to help others to find solutions – even tougher things than whether to have a Cabernet Sauvignon or a Merlot with the main course.
√ I can still sleep at night even when I think things can’t get any worse than this.
√ I still smile and maintain a level of genuine amusement when I have asked a couple of other people who know me well, whether or not I can put a check-mark next to all of the above, and they respond, “No, um… not really!”
Seriously though, the article is quite informative and well-written. It is worthy of your reading time. (AARP November&December 2009, Mind and Body. Beth Howard. pp.34-37)
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Themocracy
I usually don’t post on Blogs but ya forced me to, great info.. excellent! … I’ll add a backlink and bookmark your site.
Thanks!!!
Come back often! I try to post regularly but you know how life gets in the way sometimes!